About to traveling with pain and anxiety.

(I wouldn't recommend this post to any anxious flyers who will be traveling soon or anyone that is in a anxious mood, this will not be comforting. I wrote this to express my thoughts and feelings at that time.)

The difference between LOOKING ill and FEELING ill.

A lot of the time I think that the people around me may not be convinced about the pain I say I'm feeling or maybe they think I am faking the sudden dizzy spell that burst through my head or when I say I want the music off because it's hurting my head, making me feel claustrophobic when just 5 seconds ago I was happy listening to the music loud, I feel lots of different sensations in my head throughout the day causing me to feel disorientated and dizzy but seeing me lean on a wall or sit down on the nearest chair doesn't project a picture of what I'm feeling at that moment, there's nothing I could do to show you how I feel, you just have my word.
The people close to me, they understand but a lot of people don't understand, not everyone bothers to even try to understand, a lot of people will assume how you are on how you're looking that day.
I mean have you ever been asked if you're ok when you're fine; you just didn't put any makeup on that morning?

Now here is my 'game'... Which 2 photos out of these 4 would you think I would be feeling the most ill in?

One of those days!

It just passed 6am and I have already claimed today as a not a good day, may seem negative, I know but gosh I feel rubbish! I have been trying to sleep all night, I've give up at this point, this is no different to most days, getting up around 6am when I accept that I'm not going to be sleeping anytime soon. I don't know why this is any different to another night, it's not really but I guess I'm just over tired and not dealing with it as well! I'm going to get up and take a cool bath now, can't lay here any longer, my temperature is all over the place and my body is only going to become more restless.
(Update: It's 16:18, I'm still awake, have been for the past 25 hours, so hoping to get some sleep soon!)

I wish there was snow outside my window, I wish it was a frosty morning and that I needed to wrap up in my duvet but still feeling the cold air at my toes, I do love the sun and warm weather but right now as I imagine a frosty, snowy morning, it sounds perfect.

What have I been up to?