Today I'm writing about a sensitive subject which I never thought I would be publicly writing about, but here goes! SO NERVOUS
I recently found some leaflets and NSHN printouts in the back of one of my drawers that I had been given at the hospital a couple of years ago, they were purposely pushed into the depths of my drawers as at the time I was given them, I had no plans to actually read them. I remember flipping through them pretending I was taking it in because my psychologist was watching, while she wrote up my safety plan.
Although I don't think I'm quite prepared to talk in depth about my own experience with self injury, I do think that with my knowledge and my handy dandy leaflets that I am in a good position to offer advice to young people who are dealing with depression and/or urges to self harm.
I know maybe if you are in a dark place and experiencing unpleasant thoughts and urges at this time you probably will feel a little reluctant to read on, maybe you're hesitant about accepting or asking for help or you maybe you think you have everything under control and are unaware that you need some form of help. But if this is this case, I'll say that there will be a moment when you're pushed too far and you are left with no other option than to tell someone and accept their help in hand and although it might seem like an impossible thing to do so, it's the right thing to do. Listen to that moment when help is screaming you in the face, don't chose to ignore it because there is only so long before things get out of hand and it is too late.
Here is how I started to get help and some tips I would have for others…
Here is how I started to get help and some tips I would have for others…
Although I do want to keep my own experience as brief as possible as I'm not comfortable in talking about the in-betweens, I do want to share with how I got to the 'getting better' stage!
The day that I took the step that turned everything around for me wasn't a day I planned, I didn't wake up one morning and think that 'today is the day I tell my parents and ask for help', I don't think I ever anticipated that I would go so far and that it turned into something I genuinely needed help for. But on this particular day I took things a bit further than I intended to and once I came home with my arm bandaged and taped, I knew that was the moment that I needed to tell my Mum what was going on. Telling my Mum has to be the most difficult thing I've ever had to do and I wish to never have to see her look as heartbroken as she did when she realised what I was trying to tell her. But from that day, things got better, I can't explain it but everything became clearer and I wasn't the lonely girl crying on her own while everyone else sleeps then wakes up the next day none the wiser, anymore. Despite the few especially tough weeks that came after, I did what I had to and attended the meetings and appointments I needed to because I knew that after all, after taking the step in telling someone, there would be a time where that part of my life would soon be something of the past.
The day that I took the step that turned everything around for me wasn't a day I planned, I didn't wake up one morning and think that 'today is the day I tell my parents and ask for help', I don't think I ever anticipated that I would go so far and that it turned into something I genuinely needed help for. But on this particular day I took things a bit further than I intended to and once I came home with my arm bandaged and taped, I knew that was the moment that I needed to tell my Mum what was going on. Telling my Mum has to be the most difficult thing I've ever had to do and I wish to never have to see her look as heartbroken as she did when she realised what I was trying to tell her. But from that day, things got better, I can't explain it but everything became clearer and I wasn't the lonely girl crying on her own while everyone else sleeps then wakes up the next day none the wiser, anymore. Despite the few especially tough weeks that came after, I did what I had to and attended the meetings and appointments I needed to because I knew that after all, after taking the step in telling someone, there would be a time where that part of my life would soon be something of the past.
MY ADVICE FOR YOU
Work out your triggers; find what kind of thoughts, feelings or activities encourage you.
