No ones lives their life expecting it all to change in a matter of weeks, days, minutes. We're all aware that bad things happen in life, we see bad things happen on the news all the time but it's always something we just hear about and we feel sympathy for those people, we say that we wouldn't know what we'd do if that happened to us but we are no different to them, they didn't prepare for their life to change for the worse and they don't know how to handle it either. Bad things happen to everyone at some point in their lives but we live our lives preparing for all the good that we hope to come in our future, life would be sad if we woke up every morning and planned tomorrow as if we were going to be less able than today, we plan and imagine the future in the best way possible because we are told that we can do anything if we really want to and that we've all got plenty of time to do it.
What happens if one morning you wake up and you're no longer able to sit up? How would you feel if one day you were dreaming of traveling the world and doing all the things you wanted to just because you could, then the next day every dream was crushed because your life had changed and you were no longer able to think about the future, you had to watch everyone else around you get excited about life ahead of them while you, after planning hospital appointment after hospital appointment, wondered if you even had a future. How would you feel if suddenly your life came to a holt, you had to stop all of your plans and accept a different path? A path of pain and complications.
I became ill at the beginning of high school, I had just began realising the exciting adventures that were possible in life, me and my friends would talk about what we were going to do after high school, we'd have exciting conversations about holidays and festivals together, I enjoyed school and I thought that my teenage years were going to be so much fun. They weren't. I spent hours in hospitals, I spent days wondering what was happening to my body, my friends would be complaining about their boyfriend issues while I wondered if I was dying. Other days I wondered if I was just imagining it all, people would make me believe I was, make me think
I was the problem, that it was my fault that I was suddenly unable to move about and function well.
After years of desperation I found out that I had M.E. The mystery that had taken over my life and changed every aspect of it, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. A condition that disables myself and millions of others around the world.
M.E, known to some as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/CFS, is a condition that causes extreme fatigue that does not go away with sleep, sleep is made difficult, insomnia is a big symptom, difficulty getting to sleep, difficulty waking up and disturbed sleeping patterns. Pain is a big symptom too; painful joints, muscles and migraines. Sufferers feel flu symptoms daily, sore throat, headaches, body aches, nausea, irregular temperature, dizziness, painful swollen lymph nodes and palpitations. This condition also delightfully comes with cognitive difficulties such as; poor concentration, short term memory loss, difficultly planning/gathering thoughts, a general feeling of disorientation. Everyones symptoms vary and we all suffer differently but something that is usually guaranteed is that symptoms will worsen after psychical or mental activity. M.E has no cure, we assume its occurs after a viral infection but no one knows too much about it as there isn't a lot of funding.
This condition leaves people bed bound, unable to move or carry out minimal actives such as getting washed. Sufferers are often unable to attend school or work and are left socially isolated and depressed because of their restrictions. Don't be fooled by someone who
looks well, a couple of days a month I'll have makeup on and be outside looking well but the following days I will be in bed with my painkillers, unable to sit up.
We all say that our illnesses don't define us but it's often hard for them not to. M.E gets in the way of every aspect of my life, I'm sure you've missed school before because you've been unwell and when you go back you realise that you've missed a lot and there's lots of work for you to do and you don't understand the conversation your friends are now having and it's only been a few days... What if that was every single day for you? Years. Then you'd really be out the loop, you see peoples lives move forward while yours stands still and demands a fight from you.
M.E causes me excruciating pain, it makes my body slow, it makes my breath short, it sometimes makes me lay awake all night crying, it makes my brain fuzzy and it makes others judge. I didn't want this, none of us did, it's not our fault and we shouldn't be treated differently because of it, it's just something we have that's made our paths a little different and yeah, I'm sometimes sad that this may be my forever and the future does scares me but most of the time I'm happy. I'm happy that I'm in this position because I'm the one that understands and I'm lucky enough to be able to voice that. I get to meet incredible people who understand too, who inspire me daily. I had never heard of M.E 6 years ago, I wouldn't be writing this post and raising awareness today if I didn't have this illness. This is now my life, it's not changing anytime soon, so together as M.E sufferers; lets make it our job to do the best we can for us all, to raise the awareness we need and push for the research and acknowledgement we deserve because every single day we are the ones that have to understand this nasty illness a little bit more.
I am also part of Team
BLUE SUNDAY for M.E Awareness week. The wonderful
Anna and her Blue Sunday event was the thing that inspired me to get involved last year, so I'm happy to be hosting my own tea party for my family and friends this year. You can support me
HERE, or text '
KBTP55 *amount you want to fund*' to
70070. Funds go to the
ME Association, they are a campaigning UK charity that help support and provide helpful information for people with M.E, they also fund research into the causes and to improve treatment.
Thank you!
I hope this post found it's way to someone who before had never heard of M.E and that you learnt something from it.
