One of those days!

It just passed 6am and I have already claimed today as a not a good day, may seem negative, I know but gosh I feel rubbish! I have been trying to sleep all night, I've give up at this point, this is no different to most days, getting up around 6am when I accept that I'm not going to be sleeping anytime soon. I don't know why this is any different to another night, it's not really but I guess I'm just over tired and not dealing with it as well! I'm going to get up and take a cool bath now, can't lay here any longer, my temperature is all over the place and my body is only going to become more restless.
(Update: It's 16:18, I'm still awake, have been for the past 25 hours, so hoping to get some sleep soon!)

I wish there was snow outside my window, I wish it was a frosty morning and that I needed to wrap up in my duvet but still feeling the cold air at my toes, I do love the sun and warm weather but right now as I imagine a frosty, snowy morning, it sounds perfect.

What have I been up to?

This week, not much, sleeping, reading, getting hyped up for my holiday next month, which as much as I am excited, I am nervous, though I think it's normal to have some anxiety about taking yourself and your chronic illness away from the comfort of your own home but I'm sure I'll be able to enjoy myself enough to put up with it!
Sleeping... yes of course, a lot of that, or more just laying in bed, sometimes when I wake up at night, everyones already in bed, I transfer my cushions and my laptop to the living room and I pitch up in there for the night. When everyone is up and around the house I tend to spend more time in bed, mainly because I don't feel like I have the energy for conversation half of the time also it's obviously the most comfortable place to be, my mum says I spend more time on my bed than my mattress.
Reading... yes, I'm currently reading The State Of Me, my auntie borrowed me the book, I'm currently 154 pages in, so far so good, will update you when I'm done! Also, I must mention this; who else is looking forward to seeing The Fault In Our Stars?! It's not out here 'till the 16th and as much as I want to see it, I know I'm going to be funeral crying by the end of it which you know, I wouldn't exactly want to do with a room full of people sat around me but I just have to remind myself that it really doesn't matter; we're all going to be in the same state!

My birthday is coming up! The 21st of June. My auntie took me to see Katy Perry for my birthday, we went on the 23rd of last month, it was an amazing show, I loved it. What I didn't love was the state I was feeling that night (or the next day!), not that I want to say a bad word about the night, it was an amazing night like I said, I loved it and it was worth it! But I feel like I have a free pass to moan a bit on here, so with that I will say that wasn't feeling my best that night, I hadn't slept the night before and it was a 6 hour night, a long night for me with rest, so you can imagine how I felt without. I felt dizzy, sick, of course; tired, I ached, I didn't feel like I was seeing through my own eyes, I felt unsteady, my head felt heavy and I wasn't looking forward to the loud noises and the bright lights, I thought I was going to feel that way all night and that I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself but once I'd eaten and a bit of time had passed, I didn't feel so bad, everything was more bearable and I was ready for the night.

Now could I just give a tip to the people that go to concerts and buy the flashing bunny ears or the flashing whatever's that wrap around your neck and conveniently reaches eye level of the people in the row in front of you, please turn it off when there's no one stage, when were just sat waiting, you stood, I mean maybe you don't understand the annoyance of it as you can't see it, no, it's hanging down past your waist hanging right in my view flashing 10 different neon colours a second. In fact, don't even turn it on while there is someone on stage.. just take it off, put it under the chair and leave it there and hang it on your ceiling when you get home or something, then wait to see how long you see the amusement in it...

:)

Just wondering whether or not I have anything else to share...

Nothing exciting!

Oh my hair has reached a silly length, covering my back and now has the ability to tuck itself into the top of my pants. I'm planning on getting it cut next week, I hate washing it, it takes forever and takes two days to air dry and long enough to dry it with heat, a process my arms don't enjoy. I'd love having long thick hair if I was able to style it and make it look nice on a regular basis but I'm not. Most of the time I leave it to dry in a top knot, the longer it's left, the more it dries and when it dries, curls and frizz spring from the top of my head.
I've been tempted to get a lot cut off before but I've always said I'll regret it, so I figured I'm going to meet halfway and just have a few inches cut off, it might not look much different but even if it just takes 1 minute off the times it takes to me to wash or style it, I shall be happy!

I've been writing quite a bit, even though 70% of the time the writing is going on in my head... We'll get to that another time.

I've been discharged from the Sleep Clinic, the bottom of my letter I received today which was sent over 3 week ago (good job) reads; I have not made any further appointments in my Sleep Clinic but I would be very interested to know how you get on. Good luck and all the best for the future. 
Guess that means that's done with, another clinic been and gone which now means I am being referred to 2 new 'services', wish me luck!

I would talk about the thing taking over my brain at the moment, college. But I won't, I shall not stress myself any more than I am already. But how frustrating having a brain that allows me to write all of this and more but will shut down when I try to get work done, the same piece of work I've had most of the year, how do I explain my inability to do the work when I cannot form the words I want to say, I don't even know the words I want to say, how do I explain something I don't know myself?

Me trying to work!!