POST APPOINTMENT BLUES

Today I'm having those post appointment blues...

Over the past 5 years I have attended plenty of hospital appointments and meetings with different people to discuss 'what's wrong with me', which means I have had to listen to a lot of people telling me things about my body, my life and the limits I have to put on myself. Which is why whenever the day of an appointment comes I don't usually think much about it, I'll wait in the waiting room with no expectations, I know that I'll probably be leaving before long with no new knowledge, no progress and no magical medicine that's going to make everything go away.

I somehow always fool myself into thinking that this time, I'll not be leaving the appointment any more emotionally scared than I was when I arrived but I'm always proved wrong! 

When my Mum is talking to the doctor, for me to sit there hearing others talk about my life, I always think that it's not going to bother me, as if I'm discussing my condition with my family or anyone else, I'm totally fine, I feel accepting about the way my life is now. 

So even though it happens most appointments I still end up feeling a bit shocked when I start to feel myself choke up. Everything they say I've heard before, it's not as if they're telling me some shocking facts that I don't already know, I know that I can't get up in the morning, go out to work like everyone else then sleep that night and then do the same everyday after that.. But there's something about hearing it in from a professional or in a professional environment, like the a doctors office or a career advisers office...that really hits a nerve!

Maybe it's because these are the places you usually go for answers; to find out about all the different options there are to treat your symptoms, to get advice on where your life is going... So when you're hearing the opposite from these people and you leave with no positive outcome, it can be very disheartening. 

(And for me, it leaves me needing a little cry once I'm back in the car)

Let me know how you feel after your hospital appointments.
Do you always think that nothing else someone can say will affect you but it still ends up doing so?
Or has anyone out there become truly invincible to hearing doctors tell them there's nothing they can do, do you manage to leave without wondering what the point is anymore?


It's the next day now and I'm all good, I'm over it and happy with life again.. Though I'm sure if I have another appointment I'll end up back at square one for the day until I realised that yes, things were said out loud but those facts were things I already knew, so nothing has actually changed.